The Conversations Advisors Aren’t Having—And Why They Matter More Than Ever

What I learned from Douglas and Heather Boneparth about helping couples do money better together.

The Conversations Advisors Aren’t Having—And Why They Matter More Than Ever

Advisors Say They Do Planning. Clients Want Real Conversations.

We say we deliver holistic advice, but too often we gloss over the actual reasons couples struggle with money: upbringing, trauma, cultural expectations, neurodivergence, shame, family influence, or simply not knowing how to talk about it.

Money Together gives advisors a blueprint for stepping into those conversations—without acting like a therapist and without crossing any professional lines.

The Most Overlooked Part of Financial Planning

Advisors tend to solve technical problems quickly. But the toughest challenges—and the biggest opportunities—live in conversations like:

• Why does one partner control the money?

• Why can’t they talk about budgeting without fighting?

• Why does family wealth create tension?

These aren’t spreadsheet issues. They’re human issues. And the advisors willing to meet clients here will own the future of advice.

A Framework for Real Relationship-Based Advice

The Boneparths explained how advisors can use structured questions to surface dynamics that clients have never articulated.

Three questions stood out:

• Does anyone else’s money influence your life?

• Have you ever sold yourself on something you want to be true?

• Are you consuming anything online that doesn’t serve you?

These prompts move people from surface-level planning to real understanding.

The Role Technology Plays in Better Conversations

Technology doesn’t replace this work. But platforms like Altruist—and the broader modern tech stack advisors now have—make the financial side easier so advisors can spend more time on the human side.

Final Thought

If you’re an advisor who wants deeper relationships, stronger retention, and better planning outcomes, this conversation with the Boneparths is worth your time.

Grab your copy of Money Together here.

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